1. Hydrate. This isn’t so much to replace the bodily fluids you’ll lose while writing (unless ya’ll are doing it really differently than I do). It’s that you want to take care of as many excuses not to write as you can, before you sit down to write. Therefore, grab a beverage, write on a full stomach, have plenty of rest, and either do enough of the chores that would otherwise be staring you down while you write, go somewhere that you won’t notice the dirt, or camouflage the mess creatively until later. (This is why laundry baskets were invented: not for transporting clean, folded laundry to its destination, but rather for piling dirty and/or clean clothes hastily and then stacking in one’s closet until the kids are 18 and have to move out and take it with them). Hence, why most, best writing is done…let’s face it…after everything else.
2. Draft quickly, edit slowly. I have learned to get the whole mess down in one big splat and then go back later and pick out the good stuff. (Ok, that makes it sound a little like when my cat eats her own vomit, but we’ll leave that there. That’s also my approach to her vomit, hence why she has to clean it up herself. Anyway.) Writing should just flow (stop thinking about vomit. Now.) Once all of the ideas are out on the page, one can step away, breathe, and come back to find the few items worth keeping, and start over again. Like I’ll need to with the whole vomit thing.
3. Your hilarious moments are usually funny to most people. Your drama is rarely interesting to anyone. It’s a lot is easier to commiserate than it is to sympathize, and usually more interesting, too. Knowing the difference is what transforms a diary into a memoir.
4. Assume that no one is interested, and work from there. Work for your audience. Question everything. Read your work in the voice of your cruelest professor, the teacher who said you’d never amount to anything, your mother, your ex, whatever it takes to mock yourself at your worst. Those are the voices that kept you writing to prove you could, and will keep you writing, to prove you should.
5. You can always lose more weight. Not YOU, you. Writer you! Cut and paste has “cut” first for a reason. Often I will save all the stuff I’ve cut from a piece onto another page, and then I’ll decide if any of it really needs to go back. Usually, all the weight the piece has lost was just that: dead weight, and the cut stuff all gets deleted. Every once in a while there will be a turn of phrase, a word, or some idea that finds its way back, but usually in a slimmer, sleeker way.
6. Listen to your day. Your week. Your life. There are stories every day that would make great novels, movies, poetry, essays, whatever. I must turn to my daughter at least a few times a week and say, “I gotta write about that!” I don’t get to all of them, obviously, or I’d be too rich and busy to do this. Some things just don’t work out once I get them going. Some are in process: either on the page or in the “percolator”, and some are just in procrastination mode. Sometimes life just gets in the damn way. But I keep my ear to the ground anyway, every day, for that next thing. Keep listening for yours.
7. The Devil really is in the details. The trick is, not selling your soul for the wrong reason, here. Details that you have to get right: your voice, maintaining a style that is consistent with the tone of the piece (there’s nothing wrong with a Valley-Girl Zombie, as long as the tone and style mesh. Zombielike tone with Valley Girl style: a bestseller amongst the tweens-set I’ll bet, and who’s to say that most Valley Girls aren’t Zombies, right? But, go too campy or scary and you’ve lost your audience.) The details that can be cleaned up by any good editor: minor grammar and punctuation, consistency issues, etc. Only you can sound and think like you. Make your work your own and then do what any good supermodel would: pay someone to touch up your flaws and make you look like a pro (or a ho’, depending on what you’re going for here.)
8. Go all the way. How far you take this is up to you, but I figure whatever type of writer you are, or piece you are working on, be bold with it. No writer was ever remembered for his or her “mild turn of phrase,” or “middle of the road,” opinions. Getting a reaction from the audience is part of the process, even if it means flying vegetables (do people really do that anymore?) or venomous postings via Facebook. I’d rather that I offended, and know I awakened, someone’s sensibilities, than to think I lulled my audience into a comfortable slumber.
9. Writing is exercise. The more you do it, the stronger you get. Yes, you start out flabby and weak, but with the proper training one can build a literary beast. Having to carve out time to write is like taking time out for any other exercise: you have to give up something: TV, sleep (see #1 though), time with someone besides yourself, or some other screwing around on the computer that generally involves irritated fowl or something. It’s heavy lifting, sweat, tears, and pain. The aching muscle between your ears will get stronger. You will get over the steepest part of your personal mountain and on the other side you’ll find: a piece of crap that has to be totally rewritten. But, you can tackle that another day. You’ll be stronger then and ready for the challenge.
10. Writing is a team effort. Anyone who attempts writing in the vacuum of one’s own home or office without the input of a Writer’s Guild, Group, or other source of support, is only putting in part of the effort. The real work, and joy, comes in sharing the results of one’s efforts with a group of individuals who share the same passion, and hopefully not the same opinions. Peer feedback is the most valuable, since it is the most trusted. Only those who have labored over their craft can praise and critique as knowingly as this kind of gathering. Find a group and join it. Praise yours to others who may need one, and keep extending the invitation: it took two years for me to accept. Writing is one of the few arts that is performed in private, often enjoyed in private, and crafted in small, dedicated groups. Be part of one.
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